You just gotta love those Tories…………………..

Oh my life, you’ve just got to love those Tories, don’t you (!)

They seem to have been busting a gut to support my campaign for Mayor of Bristol. Ever since it looked liked they had scuppered it, by threatening to put up Jeremy Hunt, they haven’t stopped trying to do everything possible to assist me.

First there was Baroness “must end the something for nothing culture” Warsi, doing just that and helping herself to something for nothing

Tory party sources say that Baroness Warsi has been involved in a “cock-up” over expenses. As Corrupt Self Serving Lying Thieving B’stard I admire her for her clever use of English, although, it’s more generally known as “Being Caught”

Baroness Warsi said she takes full responsibility for the “oversight”, but lets hope they pull all those benefit cheat adverts for a few weeks to let it all die down, last thing the old Baroness needs to hear right now is “No Ifs, No Buts, No Oversights”

As if all that hadn’t helped me enough, then there was the Ginsters Pasty Party Funds scandel.

They’ve just given a £100,000 donation to Tory Party Funds, only days after a tax hike on hot food, that would give a very handy competitive edge to Mr Ginsters selling of cold pasties.

They didn’t even have to bother turning up and having tea with Mr Cameron either and, they saved themselves £150,000 in the process. Nice one Mr Ginster (!)

The Lib Dems have also been keen to help out, what with the UKUncut street party outside Nick Cleggs house earlier in the week. Louise Mensch went on twitter to claim it was harrassment of Mr Cleggs family.

Which smacks of more “do as I say, not as I do” politics, considering that since her Parties weren’t elected into Governement, they’ve continually made a point of harrassing the sick and the disabled.

Good on the Corrupt B’stards say I, and thanks for the support this week.

Finally I’ve adjusted my campaign slogan slightly. it now reads thus…………..


Live Love Dream

Corrupt Self Serving Lying Thieving B’stard


Oi, Legarde!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There I was having a lovely Saturday morning Lie In with Mrs B’stard, but I just couldn’t resist having a look at the internet on me phone, only to read about the “wicked snow queens” latest outburst.

F**k off  Lagarde. You psychopath. You can’t pay back money that never existed in the first place you knobhead.

You gave us invisible money. We spent it. Deal with it!

Come on Greece. Lead the way. Basic Income Guarantee & APT Tax. Carpe Diem!!!!!!!!

If Legarde really did mean it, when this spouted forth from her frozen wasteland of a mind –  ” I think more of the little kids from a school in a little village in Niger who get teaching two hours a day, sharing one chair for three of them, and who are very keen to get an education. I have them in my mind all the time. Because I think they need even more help than the people in Athens.”

then she would waste no time at all in introducing the Universal Unconditional Basic Income Guarantee and fund it with the Automated Payment Transaction Tax.

Boy would I love the chance to debate this issue with The Senile old Runt and her sidekicks live on tele. they know there is no argument against it.

So Come on Greece Seize the Moment, tell the IMF to go fuck itself, print your own currency, pay a Basic Income to all your citizens and fund it with APT tax. This Is Our Chance!!!!!!!!

Failing that, you can trust the Bristolians to do it for you all instead.

Talking about the Mayoral Election again, I see that I’m up against Jeremy Hunt for the Tory nomination. Don’t fancy my chances much though.

Do you?

Live Love Dream

Corrupt Self Serving Lying Thieving B’stard

Tax The Ocean

So, IMF backs tax & interest rate cuts to dig UK out of recession.  No! No no!  How many more bloody times you imbeciles, Basic Income Guarantee and Automated Payment Transaction (APT) tax.  For the love of God, or whatever else your philosophical beliefs are, or aren’t, and I classify atheism as a belief, even if it is a belief in nothing, are they all just plain old simple or are they simply plain old evil?

Stupid nice people or stupid evil people, they’re still bloody stupid!?$%&*!!!???*??!%?

It’s not rocket science is it? and while we’re at it, Money is not a resource that we dig out of the ground. Money is created out of thin air. It’s ironic how our relentless pursuit of money, has led to the destruction of the resources that sustain our lives. The world is mad. We all are, we’re insane.I wonder what the moment is going to be like when we all suddenly have that eureka moment, that “tah daaaah!!!” moment when we suddenly realise “what on earth have we been doing, what a bunch of dickheads we are (laughing hysterically) it’s like watching a hungry man cut out his own lungs and eat them, just because he’s hungry”

Oh well, ce la vie, non?

after my last blog about the difficulty of engaging my fellow “B’stards”, I have had some really good dialogues with some of them this week. A particularly good one on twitter about funding the Basic Income Guarantee with a local sales tax.

Great challenging questions, which made me think, hmmmm, maybe I’m talking shite. Mainly because it seems such large figures that need generating.

If 450,000 people in Bristol, recieve £15,000 a year, thats pretty much £7 Billion needs raising in tax. It won’t be that much, obviously, because it’s only the adults, over 18, who would recieve it, but let’s take that figure for sake of argument. Seems impossible doesn’t it, especially in this age of austerity, even if money is created out of thin air.

During my time away thinking about this one, yes I do go away and think about stuff, and yes I’m happy to be proved wrong, after all I’m just a simple fool, a Corrupt Self Serving Lying Thieving B’stard of a fool at that, so what do I know?

Anyway, while thinking about the gross turnover of the City of Bristol, I came across this little article on the Automated Payment Transaction (APT) tax. Well, actually I was given it by a professor of economics, but you don’t need to know that.

Then I had a eureka moment.

If theres enough money in the economy to pay an average wage of £26000 to every worker in the UK, then there’s enough money in the economy, to raise enough revenue, via the APT Tax, to pay a basic income of £15000 to every adult.

For one, the Basic Income Guarantee is almost HALF!!!!! the average wage in this country.

For two, Income tax (which raises alot of the tax revenue for the entire Government) is only chargeable at around 20% on that average wage of £26,000, which in my book is £5200 in income tax per worker on average, in fact less than that when you take into account the tax free allowance each worker currently gets.

Whereas the APT Tax is chargable on all the money swilling around the economy, of which only a small fraction is paid in wages.

In other words, rather than income tax the stream and fight over scraps, APT Tax the Ocean and feed the entire world.


Live Love Dream

Corrupt Self Serving Lying Thieving B’stard






The Money Question

So, having thought long and hard, I have decided to allow the Bank of Bristol to accept and exchange “Bristol Pounds” for “UK Pounds Sterling” with an exchange rate of £1 Bristol Pound = £1 UK Pounds. This means that people and businesses can trade in this new “Local Curency” safe in the knowledge that each Bristol Pound they accept/use is worth £1.

the Bristol Pound will therefore, no longer be “monopoly money.”

Alot of people ask how I will be able to fund the Basic Income Guarantee of £15000 for each resident of Bristol, whether they are working, non working or retired. I will fund it by introducing a transaction/sales tax whenever money is spent, not earned but spent.

It will be a similar tax to VAT and here is a short example of how that transaction/sales tax will work. You can even try it now with your mates.

Government gives me £5. I pass that £5 round a group of 10 friends. By the time the £5 comes back to me, it has been passed around/spent 10 times. Creating a turnover of £50. If the government taxes that spending at 20%, it raises £10 in tax. Making a profit of £5.

This means the Unconditional Basic Income Guarantee, pretty much pays for itself.

Talking about money though, can anyone tell me who it is exactly, that this so called national debt, that we are crippling ourselves and especially the vulnerable, to repay, is actually owed to?

I hope its not the very same banks, that got us into this mess in the first place. That would be like buying the bailiffs a bigger van, so that they can cart away even more of your stuff.

I’m kind of hoping some of the other candidates will engage with me on this question, although I’m not going to hold my breath, because engaging any of those other candidates seems to be more difficult, than engaging a broken toilet door, on a run down public loo.

Live Love Dream

Corrupt Self Serving Lying Thieving B’stard

Live and Learn by Listening

Well, I was wrong about the media interest dying down, because yesterday I filmed a segment for the BBC “Sunday Politics” show.

The best thing about doing these “political” campaigns, or any activity, I find is, the learning process. I learned an incredible amount doing “mr zero none of the above” in 2010 and yesterday was the same.

The first thing I learned is, stop taking it, and myself especially, all too seriously. I am not a politician, I don’t profess to have all the answers, and I do profess to have alot of questions myself.

I believe that life is for living, that none of us knows how much time we have, that for all we know, we are only born the once and  I definitely don’t want to have any regrets, on my deathbed, about things I wish I had tried or I had not done. Of course, it is not my intention to hurt anyone else in the process either, and I don’t believe that what I’m doing by running for Mayor is hurting anyone. Anyway I digress, and digressing makes a long blog and a long blog doesnt get read, so I’ll cut to the chase.

I’m happy to be seen as the joke candidate, but I’m also happy to engage in dialogue with people about what I’m doing, how they feel about it and the “money” issue.

Yesterday, while filming, I got talking to one man, who said what I was doing was pointless, because the money I was going to print would be worthless, it would be like monopoly money.

I tried to get a conversation going about “why my money would be worthless, whereas stirling was worth something i.e whats the difference between them”. His argument being that stirling was worth something because people/shops accepted it, whereas the bristol pound would be worthless because people/shops wouldn’t accept it. My counter argument was that my bristol pound would be worth something if the people of bristol decided to accept it, which of course it would, but he kept countering that they wouldnt accept it, because shops wouldnt accept it, so they couldnt exchange it for anything etc etc etc.

To be honest, my lack of ability to explain myself, meant he made me look a bit of a dick, and it was being filmed. However, thats my problem, not his. Maybe he had succeeded in blowing my argument out of the water.

I toyed with dropping the “printing bristol pounds” part of my manifesto pledge, and just concentrate on the “basic income guarantee” part, which I’m very confident that I can explain to everyone. Then I decided that I would add something to my manifesto instead.

I will now make sure that “The Bank Of Bristol” will accept and exchange “The Bristol Pound” for “£UK Pounds” on a £1UK Pound =£1 Bristol Pound exchange rate.

To be honest I wasn’t completely happy with this, because it feels like its just using the £1UK Pound covered with a dust jacket, but it would get people using the bristol pound, so it would be a start.

Obviously if everyone in bristol just came straight to the “Bank Of Bristol” to exchange their £15000 Bristol Pounds “basic income guarantee” for £15000 UK pounds, there wouldn’t be enough money to pay them, just like if everyone tried to withdraw their £UK Pounds from their current Bank, there wouldn’t be enough there either. Apparently, Only 3% of the money we all have in our accounts exists, the rest is just made up, at least thats what I heard Eric Cantona say once, correct me if he’s wrong.

Then to my amazement, I read this story today, that there is a town in Ireland, Clones, where shopkeepers have decided to start accepting the now “defunct” Punt. They have decided to give a worthless currency value, and they have done it, just by deciding that they will accept it. They have done exactly what I was trying to tell the fella yesterday that we could all decide to do. What amazing syncronicitous timing that is. Something must like me after all huh.

The second thing wasn’t necessarily something that I learned as a lesson, it was just something I enjoyed experiencing.

They tried to film me talking to a customer in the cafe. They wanted to know if she voted in the referendum, if she would vote for me, if she trusted politicians.

She was an older lady, I would say in her 60’s possbly 70’s. She said the referendum was the first time she had never used her vote. The reason was that she wasn’t sure if she wanted a mayor or not, she didn’t have enough information to make a decision. She then said she wouldn’t vote for me because she didn’t know what I stood for. (At this point, the reporter really wanted the lady’s opinion about whether she trusted polticians, so I didnt tell her what my manifesto promises were, but she could see my poster, and she knew about the name change)

The lady then went on to say how she trusted Tony Blair when he was first elected “but then he went on to start that awful war, and I thought what is he thinking, its cost so many lives and still is” and she got quite emotional, then stopped and appologised for getting so “deep” then carried on with a pretty heartfelt account of why she didn’t trust politicians, then again apologised for getting so deep.

Finally, and this is the bit that was amazing to see, after the camera was switched off, she suddenly lit up, looked like she had had an epithany and said, face full of glee and delight, “mind you, wouldn’t it be great if he did get in, what a message that would send them all”. She meant me and she had obviously got it. Made my day that did, made my day.

Sorry for the long blog, well done on making it to the end.

That’ss all for now

Live Love Dream

Corrupt Self Serving Lying Thieving B’stard

Gobsmacked How Well It's Going…….

Wow, one week in and already a bit gobsmacked by the positive response to my mayoral bid, but then again, I suppose free money is a bit of a nailed on vote winner.

Nice to get a bit a press coverage, especially the very fair and well balanced article in the Bristol Evening Post by Ian Onions, which led to countless other media picking up on the story. Daily Mirror, Daily Star, Independant and Fox News, to name (drop) but a few.

Under no illusuions though, I learned from my “Zero None of The Above” General Election 2010 campaign that I can expect to be ignored by the mainstream media from now on.

No worries though, because I also learned, from that last campaign that “door stepping” is my real weapon, and I have 6 months to do that, with a rapidly developing army of supporters to back me up.

I wont be taking it all too seriously this time either.

Already had some great conversations about “Local Currency” and my big favourite “the Basic Income Guarantee”

I am committed to campaigning on the single issue of printing a local currency “The Bristol Pound” and giving £15000 a year in Unconditional Basic Income Guarantee to every resident of Bristol, whether they are working, non working or retired, and don’t want to confuse the issue by introducing additional manifesto promises, but if I did, there are a few things that have come up in conversation, that I recommend the other candidates to consider commiting to.

1. Abolish schools fines for non attendance at school. Since when has any business fined its customers for rejecting its product?

2. Quadrupple rates on empty buildings, to entice landlords to get them occupied by any means possible. The homeless and creative collectives to be acknowledged as occupying a building 😉

Mind you, having said all that I have come up with an addition to my £15000 Basic Income Guarantee Pledge. I propose that All Council Tax bills and All Housing Benefit payments are only payable in Bristol Pounds. This all ties in with the original £15000 Bristol Pounds Basic Income Guarantee pledge, and of course housing benefit becomes redundant anyway, once a basic income guarantee is in place, but it will work as a short term transition measure, and this is the equivalent of the gold standard backing stirling, although of course stirling is no longer backed up by the gold standard. whisper it quietly, but stirling isnt actually worth anything at all.

Only other news to report, is that tonight I lifted my legs up, lighting a fart stylie, and let a fantastic barppppppp fly, then had the pleasure of watching my 18 month old daughter, attempting the lift my legs in the air, to make me do it again, comedy gold, politics takes a very distant second to having a family and kids. No contest at all

Live Love Laff

Corrupt Self Serving Lying Thieving B’stard