Why Vote Conservative, When You Can Vote For Me?

There’s a great article in the Guardian today, about why working class people vote Conservative.

It’s all about Morals apparently, so I’ve ammended my manifesto promise accordingly to reflect this.

So now, why vote Conservative, when you can vote for me?

Introducing the Unconditional Basic Income Guarantee will ;=

1. DOUBLE THE STATE PENSION. Giving OAP’S the respect they deserve.

2. ABOLISH THE ‘NANNY STATE’ by abolishing Welfare, abolishing Income tax and letting  ‘True Free Market Economics’ do the rest.

3. REDUCE CRIME. This is statistcally proven.

Here is a great article to back me up on this. Our welfare system is broken. We can fix it… by paying everybody

I’ve even applied to beome the official Conservative Party Candidate.

Dear Sir/Madam

I would like to offer to stand as the Conservative candidate for Mayor of Bristol.

I have changed my name by deed poll and I already have a manifesto.

I believe in abolishing welfare and income tax by introducing an unconditional basic income guarantee for all adults, funded by the automated payment transaction tax and then letting  true free market economics do the rest.

I think I would make the perfect candidate for The Conservative Party.

Yours Sincerely

Mr Corrupt Self Serving Lying Thieving B’stard

Someone told me, they loved the irony, but I said “what irony? I reckon if they picked me they would probably win it, for being so honest”.

It really has been my lucky weekend as well, what with all the opportunities offered by the jubilee celebrations.

First there was the ‘Workfare’ Story about making the unemployed work for free, and letting them sleep in free accomadation too, under London Bridge.

“Britons never never never shall be slaves”. Ha-ha! Nice one! Now that’s what I really do call Irony!

It just shows how little we value human beings, that we accept them becoming simply material for exploitation.

It’s all about the money though isn’t it.  Nobody seems to be that aware of the fact that “If the money disappears, print more. If the resources disappear, were fucked”

Mind you, I did join in with the true spirit of all the Jubilee Celebrations. Afterall, it was a great opportunity to make some money and raise some party funds……..by selling some ‘Knighthoods’

‘Cash for Honours’ anyone????????

‘Cash for Honours’


One thought on “Why Vote Conservative, When You Can Vote For Me?

  1. Brilliant! Would you go in the Guinness Book of Records as the worlds first, and doubtless only, honest Tory?

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